The Blotter 2.3.18

The Blotter

Welcome to The Blotter, where we periodically post a collection of the weirdest, stupidest or just downright strange crimes from all over the world.

As God as my witness?

Two women successfully robbed a bank dressed as nuns in New Jersey. Law enforcement believes these are the same women who have robbed previous banks, with previous garb They are believed to have worn Muslim hijabs and head scarves for at least 2 other bank robberies.

Flower Power

In Illinois, 62-year old David Towner began removing and throwing several flower pots that were part of the local courthouse’s landscape. He slammed them to the ground, destroying them, and was ultimately arrested for criminal damage to property.

The Munchies are Real

San Francisco always has its fair share of free, strange spirits – but this one takes the cake. The ice cream cake that is. A man stole seven ice cream cakes from a Vallejo Baskin Robbins, leaving the cash in the store untouched. He waited until all the staff had left before cracking open the windows with a rock and stealing the cakes from the freezer.

Agro-Crime

The folks over at Modern Farmer have compiled a list of the strangest agricultural-based crimes over the last year. One of the biggest crimes of the year focused on the fish market. Carlos ‘The Codfather’ Rafael has finally been indicted of multiple federal crimes, after controlling the New England cod market using Mafioso tactics. Among the charges are intentionally mislabeling products, threatening to murder his rivals, tax evasion and money-laundering.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Perhaps one of the most absurd arrests of the year happened in El Cajon, California, when 12 people faced misdemeanor charges for feeding the homeless in a public park one weekend. A group of volunteers were handing out food, clothing, shoes and toiletries to the local homeless population when the El Cajon police wrote up citations for all of them, including a 14-year old girl. The citation was based on an effort to stop the spread of Hepatitis A, and prohibits ‘food sharing’ in public places, including city parks.

Lifetime Movie Murder

In a case that looks to be taken straight off screen, a Florida mother was kidnapped and murdered in a botched murder-for-hire plot. Ms. Zengotita-Torres, 42, was reported missing by her husband. An investigation discovered that she had been mistaken for another woman who was the subject of a murder-for-hire scheme that was organized by Lopez-Ramos, a woman in love with a man who had a girlfriend already. She plotted to kill his girlfriend with the assistance of two twenty-somethings, who mistakenly kidnapped Zengotita-Torres as she left a shopping center one evening. During the incident, they realized their mistake, but carried on with the original plan to murder. The suspects were caught when they kept using the victim’s ATM card.

Spare the Rod?

Not to be outdone, Texas saw a 54-year old woman break into a family home near Austin and begin hitting an 11-year old boy with a wooden stick. She began shouting voodoo curses and other nonsense according to police documents. The family was woken by the woman’s outbursts. The child was mostly unharmed, but the woman was charged with burglary of habitation with commission of an assault.

The Right to Remain Silent but Deadly

In what is perhaps the best metaphor for 2017, 24-year-old Sean Sykes of Kansas City was taken in for questioning when police found drugs and two handguns in a car he was riding in. When a detective asked Sykes about his residence, he leaned over to one side, and released a loud fart before continuing to answer, according to the police report. The suspect continued to release gas, to the point where the officer felt compelled to end the interview.

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