• The Blotter 5.20.17

    Author : The Blanch Law Firm May 20, 2017

    Welcome to the second installment of the blotter, where the blog collects some of the most unique, weird and dumb crimes around the world.

    First up – Virginia. At least seven cats in the Roanoke area have been shaved on their lower abdomens – some being shaved multiple times. Police have been informed but they’re at a loss – they have no leads and, frankly, they’re not even sure a crime has been committed since none of the cats appear to have been harmed. Although, at least one is reported to be really weird around people now. But – it’s a cat. Cats are generally weird around people.

    Moving on to Kyoto, Japan, police have finally arrested a man who has been accused of fondling his nipples while ogling school girls riding public transportation. This in and of itself was not a crime, although disturbing – but the man just couldn’t help himself. He later admitted to exposing his lower half to two teenage girls while on the subway. Thank goodness – the ‘Nipple man’ has been doing this since 2013.

    Back to the American south, someone took the adage of ‘breakfast is the most important meal of the day’ a bit too seriously. Michael Feinburg, 39, was arrested after allegedly shattering the front door of a Waffle House in Georgia. He stated that he was enraged by the price hike on his sausage biscuit – from $1.00 to $1.50. The poor waitress who delivered the bill with the 50 cent increase reported that Michael became angry and belligerent. He threw his bill on the floor and kicked the front door as he left, shattering the glass. Hate to think what would happen if he got hit with that annoying ‘gratuity added’ on the bill.

    Sometimes, you can’t make this stuff up. In New York, and according to the Wall Street Journal, Charles Smith lost his appeal from his conviction of attempted first-degree robbery. He used the classic finger-gun under a hoodie gag when he demanded money from a Queens check-cashing store. The court stated that the teller could have reasonably believed that Smith actually had a gun, and so, he was charged, convicted (and affirmed) of armed robbery. Let this be a lesson to anyone feeling a bit too ambitious in their criminal endeavors.

    In one of the more creative schemes for law enforcement, in the UK, a police officer was in hot pursuit with a suspect but couldn’t quite catch him. So, he did what any cop would do – he told him he was a dog handler, and to stop running.. and then he let out a couple of loud barks. The suspect stopped, turned around, and bewilderedly looked around for a dog. The officer ran after him before he could realize that there wasn’t actually a canine chasing him.

    Finally, in Michigan, a family rift in the making. Everyone has used their parent’s credit card every once in a while, right? Maybe get a tank of gas, buy some new sunglasses? Well, one 18-year old girl took advantage when her dad received a notice from his bank about a potential fraudulent charge on a credit card he didn’t have. Turns out his daughter used her dad’s information to get a credit card, which she used to buy plane tickets to visit her boyfriend in Germany. Her parents are now pressing felony credit card fraud charges. I think Christmas will be a bit awkward this year.