The Blotter 3.0

The Blotter brings you the strangest, funniest, and down-right oddest incidents of crimes from across the country and around the world.

The Elephant in the Room
Drugs are never going to lead to anything positive, and lately in Florida (because of course), this has never been more true. Twenty-three year old Samuel Brunelus was arrested on suspicion of manslaughter in connection to some deaths that he frequently provided with heroin. The problem is, this heroin was laced with carentanil – or an opioid commonly used as an elephant tranquilizer. Two men were found dead in a home, and their third friend was revived after several doses of Narcan, and over-dose medication. With the opiod crisis coming to a head, carentanil has become a more frequent player. Perhaps Brunelus is simply a man ahead of his time – who is about to be serving some.

Speaking of big animals…
In Colorado, a bear broke into an SUV and took it for a joyride on August 4. The couple, out of Durango, said they woke up early in the morning when they heard their SUV rolling into their yard and slamming into their mailbox. But, it gets worse – the bear escaped on foot before law enforcement could arrive. And it turns out he completely destroyed the car’s interior and left a rather large … surprise… inside before running off. (It was poo. Bear poo). In a matter of minutes, the bear had ripped off the steering wheel, pulled out the radio and of course, shattered a window. Perhaps car thieves should enlist the quick help of Yogi in the future.

The Perfect Crime
Imagine you come home after a long hard day, and you find that your home has been broken into. But instead of anything being taken, the apartment is sparkling clean. No problem right? Well, the police in D.C. are spoilsports and have classified this as a crime. A couple of Arlington, VA came back from a long weekend out of town and found that their entire apartment had been cleaned. Nothing had been taken, although some items had been moved around. If only we were all so lucky!

Flush it down the John Doe
Most physical evidence which is left behind consist of fingerprints, or hair follicles. But a (rather stupid) man out of California was arrested for a burglary after he paused to use the bathroom during his crime! Fecal matter was found in the toilet, DNA-tested, and matched 42-year old Andrew David Jensen. You have to wonder if he got desperate, broke in to use the toilet first and then decided to rob the place.

Pride Cometh Before the Fall – does this include vanity?
Finally, out of the United Kingdom, a man turned himself in for a crime in order to get his rather unflattering mugshot removed. The South Wales Police Department posted the mugshot seeking the suspect’s whereabouts on their Facebook group. “I am him. Not a very flattering mugshot,” Wayne Esmonde wrote on the page. “I’d appreciate it if you’d take this post down. Innocent until proven guilty and all that.” This is certainly an interesting tactic for law enforcement in the future!

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